6 RED FLAGS YOU SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP

July 07, 2017

Nobody said everything should always go smooth and dandy in relationships but when some things happen one should not just sweep it under the rug because eventually it would all come back to bite you on the butt. However hard we fall for someone, we should still look out for ourselves.

Here are some alarm bells to watch out for:

1. PLAYING THE BLAME GAME: Ever known someone who blamed their parents or spouse for everything that’s gone wrong? We’re all adults, and have to take responsibility for our own lives and our choices. There’s nothing attractive about a man who spends dates moaning about his exes and how it was all their fault. If that happens, exit via the bathroom window.

2. BEING UNSUPPORTIVE: We all go through bad times, and someone who loves you will be there for you when you suffer bereavement, ill health or job loss. If they are unsympathetic, tell you it’s your fault or just don’t seem to care, then why are you with this person? Partners support each other through good times and bad.

3. TOO MUCH FABLES: Reinventing yourself is one thing. Inventing stories is another. Some people are less than honest about themselves, and will exaggerate and rewrite their past, perhaps to make themselves sound more exciting, perhaps to conceal something that would cause alarm if you knew it.

4. BEING TOO CRITICAL: There’s nothing wrong with constructive criticism, which is delivered with sensitivity and tact – and your genuine interests at heart. However, someone who constantly tells you what is wrong with your appearance, calls you stupid or denigrates your achievements is, frankly, critical to the point of being a bully.

5. TOO CONTROLLING: Controlling people can be quite hard to identify, as they can be very subtle in the way that they operate. They can make you think that they only have your best interests at heart. But if you get any hint that your partner is trying to manipulate your behaviour, keep a watchful eye on them and try to determine if they are being controlling.

6. BEING TOO AGGRESSIVE: This is one alarm bell that should ring so loud that you run away. Anyone who shows aggression, whether to you or to other people, is someone to avoid. Even if they don’t direct it towards you now, what’s to say that they won’t in future? There are many other points that should be of concern, but lack of space prevents me listing them all.